Friday, January 28, 2005
  A Corpse is a Corpse, of Course of Course.

I discovered a new morbid mag for martha...but really for anyone who fancies loadsa S&M, some goth, and a little necrophilia. Martha, if you read this, I highly recommend the Sexy Goth Girls section for some great ideas...
Saturday, January 22, 2005
  What's wrong with this picture?

BAGHDAD, Iraq (CNN) -- Eight Chinese hostages held by a group calling itself the "Islamic Resistance Movement" in Iraq have been freed, an official from the Chinese Embassy has confirmed.

So what's wrong with this picture? Well, the terrorist dude is wearing an Adidas. A western brand. Talk about irony. Ok, so some might argue that Adidas isn't really American. It's more european with German beginnings. But I'm pretty sure they wouldn't hate the Germans any less for helping the Americans. But here's the thing that really bothers me. Why is he wearing a sports suite in the first place? Unless this man has just come back from the gym after a good morning's workout to start his daily job scaring shitless hostages, I am almost inclined to say.... that we have POSERS in Iraq. Oh my god, this man is fighting for his extremist beliefs and he's already been bastardised by the west without knowing it. Poor bastard.

"most people understand the sentiment that this graphic expresses, but a few have requested an explanation and i'm happy to provide one. i know that a lot of people will simply see this image as a punk gimmick, but sincerely, it's not. i think that what thurston and i are doing is one of the most patriotic gestures anyone could make. we are working to huddle together the voices of those who have something to say about the aimless direction in which this country is tumbling. as it becomes increasingly more apparent that this government for and by the people is becoming increasingly more comfortable ignoring said people and sacrificing them on the battlefield for resources and empire, we need to speak up and we need to speak out. contrary to the opinion of a man we never elected, we are not a "focus group." we are the government. we are this country. our rights are being trampled. our working class and poor are being led to slaughter. our privacy is becoming evermore a diaphanous myth. corporations, the lobby groups who represent them and the courts have more control over the power structure in this country than any electoral college could ever dream. this state of affairs is not a part of the country that sits stitched in Old Glory. i think that my flag imagery supports these statements and buttresses the efforts of this site. i say "fuck the flag" because it's lost its meaning. it's devoid of all that it once stood for. desecrate it and start afresh. take it back, renew its meaning and then return it to the glory of old. it's not disrespectful at all. it's patriotic. too many people who wave it and rally behind it do so as a consumer convention. it's an icon that people buy and sell and buy and sell into. the lapel pins, the window-clings, the tshirts, bags, skateboards and fluttering graphics that mar the lower-third of my television... it's become a crass tool of accessible conspicuous consumption. it saddens me to see these flags. it saddens me completely. the stencil is my way of saying, "if this pisses you off, ask me why i did it and then help me make it right." i will neither wave, nor salute, nor hide behind an icon that has been hijacked by an administration of pirates and poisons. i will not have them wrap my mind in a fabric of a nationalism that i neither condone nor identify with."

Visit Protest Records. It's not a hardcore political forum or anything. But there are a couple of interesting stencils together with a collection of free mp3s by artists who voice their opinions on the current monkey running America. I wish there were a bit more rock music in there, but hey, Beastie Boys is in there.

Speaking of the Bush Administration, I thought I'd mention this video clip. I stress that this is completely unrelated to the previous paragraph because I am not "smooth like sandpaper" as the Leech was in his previous post. This particular clip revolves around a conspiracy theory that the object that hit the Pentagon on 9/11 was not a plane at all. I am personally skeptical to theories without evidence, but I leave you to judge this particular one yourself as there are some pretty interesting 'facts'. Some people even believe that 9/11 was conducted by the American government altogether. And now I shall make another painfully smooth transit out of this paragraph.

Music for Relief was created in response to the recent devastation in Southern Asia, thus concerned musicians and fans along with the American Red Cross have formed Music For Relief. All donations go directly to aid the victims and their families. If you have 15 seconds to spare, visit this site and look on the left sidebar that displays all the supporting artistes. Plenty of rock bands huh? (Yes, even Tom Morello is in there) What I'd really like to know though, is where all the rich rap/hiphop 'artists' are...with all their bentleys and "bling-bling". Where have all the pop stars gone? I'm tempted to say that they have a bad excuse for not making a show...but then I'm even more tempted to say their "work" doesn't qualify for Music at all.

Friday, January 21, 2005

I was 50 cent short of having a nostalgic experience.
Thursday, January 20, 2005
There are healthier and more wholesome things to be doing at this time of day. I could be sleeping [too conventional], frightening my darling neighbours by being aggresive and anti-social [too easy] or rounding up the drunk population of my town and playing kiss-chase with a stun-gun [not two nights in row...]. Instead I thought i'd publish my first ever blog comment.
I was coaxed into this decision by learning that Michelle Branch is the finest example of a woman on this planet. Having long thought that Penélope Cruz had this job I thought I would express my shock and surprise. Unfortunately, being a retard I can't post a picture to allow a comparison, but I think it is worth pointing out that unlike Michelle Branch [elegantly snuggling up to dead guitar hero Dimebag, below] Miss Cruz does NOT have third degree burns on her shoulder. Is it some kind of new messed-up fashion statement..? Now, behold the most pitiful segueway into a new paragraph ever seen on a blog:

I've been invited to participate in this anti-social project on the understanding that I write as many inflamatory comments as possible about the bizarre fashion trends in the UK, a subject I am unfortunately familiar with myself [in the same way that George Bush 2 is "unfortunately familiar" with brain damage]. My foreign friends have asked me many questions about this subject, and in my next post I will try and shed some light on perhaps the strangest new trend: the role of puppy fat as a makeshift belt among young ladies.
There. See how i used the word fashion to link one paragraph with the next? Smooth. Smooth as a piece of sandpaper. I studied journalism for three years at university learning how to pull things like that off. layout. I thought I'd try this one on and see if it grows on me... I know it isn't dark. It hasn't got any serpents in it.. it hasn't got any goth in it. And it certainly does NOT have enough S&M in it.. Let me know your thoughts Martha. Tell me all these precious revision hours have not been wasted for nothing!

I'm just really really really really....

really bored of revising.

Wednesday, January 19, 2005
  Greatest British Parenting Skills #234: If you're too drunk to drive, get your 9yr old to do it.
A GIRL of nine crashed a car after her drunk dad allegedly told her to drive home.
The young girl is reported to have mounted a kerb, driven the wrong way down a street and ploughed into a house after stepping on the accelerator instead of the brake.
She caused extensive damage to the building but miraculously the nine-year-old, her father and two other passengers all escaped injury.
“There but for the grace of God, there were only minor injuries,” said Sgt Kevin Spurdle of Papatoetoe police in Auckland, New Zealand.
“I looked at the scene and thought, ‘hell’.”
Police believe the girl’s father had spent last Saturday night drinking before handing the keys to his daughter.
But she only managed to drive about 40 yards before losing control of the car at a roundabout and smashing into a pensioner’s home.
Doug Gilbert, 77, who was inside at the time, said afterwards: "If I'd been in the garden, I would have had it.
"I casually strolled out to the front and when I opened the door, there was this car that had driven into the house.
"The car was in a hell of a mess and the front of it was under the house."
Police are still considering what charges to press, according to website

From The Sun

I don't know whether to feel amused or really pissed off at how fucking stupid and irresponsible some people are. No, wait. Yea it's definitely the fucking pissed off. It's people like these that put innocent lives either in a wheelchair or in the grave.


Tuesday, January 18, 2005

"Singapore - Internet dating is on the rise in Singapore with men turning to popular websites outnumbering women by three to one, online agencies reported Monday.About 72 percent of the members of Singapore Cupid, one of the first dating sites in Singapore, are men.The site currently has more than 20 000 members, a jump from 9 000 in 2002.Those who sign up are not desperate and ugly, just single and anxious for company, The Straits Times found in a check of more than 10 000 profiles.They are between 26 and 30, hold a diploma or higher educational qualifications, and earn more than 25 000 Singapore dollars (about R80 000) a year.A turn-on for Singapore Cupid's male members is long hair on a woman. Their biggest turn-off is sarcasm.The women want men who are bold and assertive. They are not interested in males with body-piercing.Marketing executive Bertha Cheung said she turned to the Web because a club or pub is too noisy."At least on the Internet, after sending a few email messages, you have an idea of what the person is like," she was quoted as saying. - Sapa-dpa" From IOL.

So many stereotypes come to mind, I don't know which one to pick. And you know your country is becoming a land of dorks when people start feeling that emails are more personal than actually meeting somewhere. One day we will all be saying our marriage vows over the internet...

Stupid prudes.

Sunday, January 16, 2005

To the most gorgeous woman in the world, that is Michelle Branch. Yes yes, I know this has no relevance whatsoever to the bastardisation of the east. But love makes people senile.

Marry me puleeeeeze!!!
  R.I.P. Dimebag

Above: My wife and my best friend.....ahahahaha. I wish. This is, in actual fact, Michelle Branch with the late Dimebag Darrell (ex-Pantera guitarist). 2 of my guitar heroes on opposite ends of the musical spectrum. Talk about mismatched couples...

For the still-oblivious, Dimebag was shot dead on stage recently (late last year) by a derranged man...who later fell at the hail of police gunfire. Sigh...another fallen guitar hero.
  Reasons why threesomes aren't as fun as you imagined...

^^Notice sad, lonely man standing in the corner^^
The Threesome Position I Would Use
"There I would stand, next to the bed looking downward. I am ashamed. Finally I had the chance to enjoy the beauty of two steaming lesbian women.
Alas, my heart sank. My penis would not obey my command. It has prematurely spilled my man juices. I once planned to distribute those juices equally to my new bisexual friends.
I shall never realize my dreams. God is dead."

Ahahahah....what's worse than being rejected by two hot chicks in a threesome. I stumbled onto this website which has an encyclopedia of sexual positions with lots of great commentary. Upon hearing the term "spooning" used by my favourite on-screen doctor, Perry Cox, I had to find out what it meant. This is what says:

"People have written to me asking what "spooning" is. Here is my explanation. Picture the spoons lying in the kitchen drawer. They are line up and lying close to each other. Spooning is lying close with your lover in the same way. You both face the same direction and contact each other in many areas. It is romantic.There. Now that you have an answer you can go back to the britney spears fan club site or get help on AOL for your algebra test."

So there you have it. Next time someone asks you whether you want to be the big spoon or the little spoon, you know what to say.

Sword Fighting Over a Woman - A Dichotomy
A Dichotomy is a division into two usually contradictory parts. From the mans perspective this position represents the definition of a dichotomy.
-One man is having oral sex performed on him by a woman (this is usually good).
-The other man is standing in a room naked staring at another mans penis (not good).
I'm no webster, but I bet you will never, ever forget the definition of dichotomy now.

If He Ejaculates Near Me I'll Kick His Ass
Not that I want to keep bringing up the harsh realities of three way sex, but I just don't want anything to do with another man's ejaculate. It may look cool in the porno movies but you don't have to clean it off after you watch a Peter North film.

Conclusion: Threesome's are pretty much gay. Unless it's a two-hot-chicks-one-man configuration.

And here's my personal favourite...(animation included)
How Dolls Without Genitalia Have Sex
I bet you were wondering how dolls without knees or genitals have sex. (well, maybe it is just me that wonders about these things). Either way, these particular dolls don't have much mobility and they certainly don't have equipment.What results in a pretty sloppy effort by our guy dolls.

Reminds you of the Joke:A woman asks a store clerk "Maam, does Barbie come with Ken?" the clerk replies, "Nah, she fakes it with Ken, she comes with G.I. Joe".

Friday, January 14, 2005

Originally uploaded by
My neighbour had this snake in the chicken shed early this morning. I didnt get a chance to see it for myself before it got removed due to the fact that I was still dead asleep in bed. OOOOh i love pythons i want one! i want one!!
  I'll save you...! Right after I take out your garbage.

I wonder how much they pay people who write these things... Not like the original message was any better...

Staffordshire has never really been the wiser when it comes to spending money on making their nuclear wasteland look a bit prettier. Well, it isn't really a nuclear wasteland. But it sure felt like I was living in a nuclear winter where sun would no longer penetrate through the thick cloud layer and thus freeze every living creature on the barren wasteland below. But that's beside the point. They came up with an environmental plan to recycle more waste paper, tins, glass bottles etc. The plan involved distributing a big green plastic container (for glass) and coloured bin-bags for various recycleable items. By the end of the trial week, everyone had turned their green container into part of their indoor furniture or for laundry. Well, kudos to the town council, but their eco-friendly friendly plan just generated a ton more plastic, wasted tax-payers' money, and aren't recycling a whole lot more. I speak for Stoke by the way, where you'd never expect to see an eco-friendly student.

Word of mouth is also that Staffordshire had turned down a very large,spectacular sports/football (i cant remember which one) on the condition that they shared it with a neighbouring county. Well, they settled for a small measly one which has up to today failed to attract any significant attention... and always looks like it's rotting out in the barren wasteland. The larger stadium would not only have generated larger tourism in the area, but also more jobs for its residents. So, what's new in Staffordshire's series of plans to make it a little more inhabitable?

"Binmen could give life-saving treatment to heart attack patients in a rural area of England. Crews would carry defibrillators, machines which give electric shocks, under the plan being considered by Staffordshire Moorlands Council. The scheme, backed by the ambulance service, has been proposed as using a defibrillator within four minutes of a heart attack increases survival by 80%. Council leader Ron Locker said it was a great idea and could save lives."

Are we expecting blue sirens on garbage trucks anytime soon? Or perhaps an emergency number for garbage collectors...
Thursday, January 13, 2005
  We all need a helping hand sometimes...

Nearly forgot to share this story with you. Another interesting report in the local paper:

Czech attempts suicide with chain saw.

Prague - A 32-yr-old Czech tried to commit suicide by cutting his throat with a chain saw but survived after the machine missed his jugular artery and got stuck in his spine. This was his second suicide attempt. He had earlier tried to hang himself from a tree branch but the branch snapped and he broke both legs in the fall.
  It's oh so lonely.

man at work
Originally uploaded by
Went jungle trekking today and drove past this sign on the way. It must have been reaaaaal lonely for The Man.
Wednesday, January 12, 2005
  [insert sarcastic WMD remark here]
So, on January 12, 2005, the United States declare yet another lost war by ending the search for WMD in Iraq. I wonder...WHO could have foreen this coming [insert bit more sarcasm here]?? But wait, why is the war over? They're still in Iraq aren't they? Didn't they get what they wanted in the first place? Oh THAT's right...they got Saddam! That WAS the whole objective of the war on terror in the first place.....wasn't it?

Well obviously this is no big surprise to most people. Just like some evil marketing scheme, they use WMD as a selling point to go to war, and then cheat you of your money... all you get is a shrivelled bearded man hiding in a hole in the ground. The main point being, obviously Bush and Blair went to war despite a no-go from the UN because even Hans Blix said more time was needed to determine if Iraq had WMD or capabilities to make them. Meanwhile, Bush and Blair were twitching away, finger ready on the trigger, eager as ever to jump the gun. So I ask again, how does a country of freedom vote for the jackass who told you there were WMD, sarcificed your sons' lives to get them, and then 2 years later tell you...."woopty doo, my bad!" Let's see what our resident lapdog Blair has to say:

"In Britain Prime Minister Tony Blair faced similar criticism. He told his Labour Party's annual conference last September that the "evidence about Saddam having actual biological and chemical weapons, as opposed to the capability to develop them, has turned out to be wrong. "I acknowledge that and accept it," he said. "I simply point out, such evidence was agreed by the whole international community, not least because Saddam had used such weapons against his own people and neighboring countries. "And the problem is I can apologize for the information that turned out to be wrong, but I can't, sincerely at least, apologize for removing Saddam. "The world is a better place with Saddam in prison not in power."

Is it really, Mr Blair? Is it really...? Because I can't quite see Mr Hussein nuking us with weapons he DOESN'T have.
  A man with no flag
I pledge allegiance to the Flag
of the United States of America,
and to the Republic for which it stands:
one Nation under God, indivisible,
with Liberty and Justice for all.
- Pledge of Allegiance
I remember a time, way back in some of my earliest living memories, when I resided with my mother in Dallas, Texas, in kindergarden. One day my teacher encouraged me to come up to the front of the class. As nervous as I probably was, she finally persuaded me to lead the class in taking the national pledge. So there I was, standing beside the American flag which stars and red and white stripes seemed to tower above me on that day, taking my first pledge ever as the class repeated each line after me. So much meaning behind the words...but of course, I was only 5 or 6.
"I Pledge Allegiance... - I Promise to be faithful and true (Promise my loyalty)."
I wonder how many people today say a national pledge, which I think are only mandatory to school students in most countries, and really mean those words, or even understand them for that matter. I remember when I was in secondary school in Singapore when taking the national pledge was just another morning routine before starting the long, humid day. It starts of with "We, the citizens of Singapore...", yet I am not a citizen of Singapore. Is there somewhat of an exclusion to foreigners or permanent residents living in the country? Mostly, it was a bunch of lines that school students would say half-heartedly because it was too damn early in the morning and the principal barking over the PA system didn't quite help either.
" the flag of the United States of America, and to the Republic for which it stands, one Nation under God.. - These 50 individual states are united as a single Republic under the divine providence of God, "our most powerful resource" (according to the words of President Eisenhower)"
One Nation under God. The word God lies within the American pledge, yet He has become the most controversial man in the country today. It seems like a war between the new-age aethists and the traditional christians. Yet, some people go to lengths to manipulate the name of God to justify their cause. Whether it is war, gay marriage or embryo stem cell cloning. President Eisenhower approved the addition of the words "under God" in the pledge in 1954 saying, "In this way we are reaffirming the transcendence of religious faith in America's heritage and future; in this way we shall constantly strengthen those spiritual weapons which forever will be our country's most powerful resource in peace and war." By that, I don't think he meant that we should use God's name to give just cause for war. Despite my belief that there should be a separation of religion and state in every democratic country, you cannot help but admit that America was built on christian values and heritage. God is meant to be there as a spiritual means of maintaining those moral values that America was built on. And also to be there in times of war. But not an influence on political decisions. The one mistake with countries that fuse religion and state is that often God's name is used to justify atrocities carried out in war. For a shared faith does not neccessarily equal a shared political decision. But to completely ignore God, what meaning is left when you take an oath "in the name of God" in court for example?
"Indivisible, with Liberty and Justice for All.. - Cannot be separated. This part of the original version of the pledge was written just 50 years after the beginning of the Civil War and demonstrates the unity sought in the years after that divisive period in American history. Liberty, the people of this nation being afforded the freedom to pursue "life, liberty and happiness"."
America couldn't be more divided now. Red States Blue States. Aethists and Christians. Pro war and anti war. I think that people really need to sit down and think about how they are breaking down the very essence of what makes their country, and why they were proud to be wherever they may be from to begin with. Despite the half-hearted morning anthem, Singaporeans are generally patriotic and never have I seen such unity on National Day than anywhere else. In the UK, I'm not sure if they even have a national celebration day. All the holidays seem to have something to do with banks, a saint, or fireworks. Even Christmas seems to have lost its meaning in this country that is slowly shifting towards an aethist state as the christian population declines.
While I personally feel like I fit nowhere, my country of citizenship despises me (another long story) and Singapore's political system was never quite to my liking, I do sometimes envy those who feel a true place of belonging. And that's why I sometimes think back to the early days, when times were so much less complicated and ignorance was bliss at an age of 6, just enjoying the feeling of being part of something great...standing in front of the new generation of countrymen leading them in the pledge for their flag.
Tuesday, January 11, 2005
  The resident beotch of Singapore speaks...
"Fucking hell it's so bloody tiring to just maintain the weight and losing it is like a million times harder. I hate those people who have their lives made so easy- they eat like a pig & still manage to squeeze into a size 6. Yes you dumb bitches with high metabolism... I think I speak for alot of people when i say SCREW U. Go stuff your face with some oily char kway teow while I chew on my cigs.."

I just can't help but watch this hormonally-charged woman systematically destroy anything she hates. This is probably the closest to Sex in the City Singapore will ever get to, considering how half the HBO one has been chipped away by our scissor-happy censors.
Monday, January 10, 2005
  Silence the People
I am the harcore heavy metal anti-social rebel
Detest the system's stereotypical label
Raise your flag against this land of hipocracy
Unshackle yourself from this place of so-called democracy.

Woman who campaigned against China's one-child policy admitted to psychiatric hospitals, tortured, then sent to labour camp.

BEIJING — China on Monday denied claims by U.S. officials and a human rights group that a Shanghai woman is undergoing "RE-EDUCATION" through labor for her campaign to abolish the country's one-child policy. Read more here.

The system claims yet another victim.

On a slightly lighter note, R&B musician Seal, part of a dying breed of true R&B culture, speaks out against other 'popular' hip-hop/rap 'artists'.

"Seal, who recently became engaged to model Heidi Klum, attacked fellow black artists for making videos which treat women as “sexual objects”.“I haven’t had a lot of contact or dialogue with rappers,” he said.“It’s sad when you see the rappers on TV and in the videos making these derogatory videos towards women ... kind of like sexual objects. And also portraying their idea of success to be ’all you gotta do is make a rap record, get the money and get the ... cars and that is success’ – and ’look at me, I’m killing it now’,” he said. Seal, the son of Nigerian parents, told Sister 2 Sister magazine: “It’s so sad because we’re damaging our own. Like, in different cultures, you would never see that." Read more here.

I've never really listened to Seal, apart from that theme he did for Batman Forever. But kudos to him for not selling out with the stupid bling bling and 'booty' videos.
  Return of the Bonsai Kitten

"Initial insertion, kitten was injected with 2mg equivalent dosage of Valium via Ketamine after 12 hr fasting regimen. Notice pre-drilled side hole for ventilation/feeding tube."

Thanks Martha for the email...I thought this one was worth posting. I'm not much of an animal rights activist...but I do believe humanity has taken it to a whole other level with the Bonsai kittens. For those who don't know, the Bonsai Kitten website has returned, after being taken down last year. The website claims to have a wide base of supporters through the internet and is supposedly back in business.

If you would like a copy of the email petition against this practice forwarded to you, just leave your details in the comments.

p/s: This is another reason why I think people are shit and animals are much more worthy of my affection . Hmph. Let's make a petition for the people who make these bonsai kittens to be made into bonsai bozos. Same size bottle of course, just to make things fair...... - Martha.
  What's your life worth?
Apparently, an Iraqi's life isn't worth that much. As a friend of mine (P.Che) has commented: "An Iraqi life is worth 6 months of an american life." Check this article out:

Sunday, January 09, 2005
  History 101
KoRn takes it to the next Head do a guitar SOLO. That's right...KoRn. Solo. (Video: Another Brick In The Wall)

I remember the first time I came to the UK. It did two things for me. It gave me the worst one and a half years of my life...and then it gave me angry music to go along with it. I will always remember the trinity of albums that broke my nubile eardrums in.

1. Korn's first album [self-titled]
2. Limp Bizkit's first album [$3 Bill]
3. Linkin Park's first album [Hybrid Theory]

Thanks to my ex-roomie, Tim. And thanks to Kerrang! tv. Now my ears bleed to the sound of popular music. And everytime I am forced to listen to somebody else's shit, Jon Davis will scream Blind, or Wes Borland's down-tuned distortion drowns everything else out in my head....just to remind me how I fucking hated my life.

Sometimes I still fucking hate it.

Saturday, January 08, 2005
  dark goddess

dark goddess
Originally uploaded by
I tried this website once where you answer some questions and it concludes what you are hehehe this is I...
  Cool game.
Try this game!!

  MMMM I want a kitty boy!

(Just one of the delightful snacks you can get here. I forgot where it was made the Land of the Kittyboys??)
  Pint of kitten anyone?

Now here's a few ideas to make that money and time spent on your pets even more worthwhile...
Friday, January 07, 2005
  Who is the most powerful man in the UK? George W. Bush
"Following his victory in November with an even clearer mandate, he now has the power to control our troops in Iraq, change the course of our foreign policy and impact upon our policing and attitudes towards terrorism - for where Bush goes, Blair surely follows."

Oh maaan...I'm so fried from all this revision. WHY AM I STILL IN UNI???! I cannot comprehend....o.
Thursday, January 06, 2005
  War and Big White Cocks.
In one of my groups on this online community website, I came across really interesting article:


by Mumia Abu-Jamal

[Col. Writ. 2/6/02]

Copyright 2002

It is helpful sometimes, in times of great and confusing events, to consider simple things, which can shed light on things that are far more complex.

The events of 9/11, and in turn the resultant aerial bombardment of Afghanistan by American military, is now the opening act of what promises to be a global military campaign that threatens to be waged in Iraq, perhaps Iran, Somalia, and even the far Phillipines.

We are told that this war will be waged for years, perhaps for decades, in far-flung areas of the earth. It is, in Bush Administration terms, a 'war against terrorism,' a 'war against evil,' and a 'clash of civilizations'. (Of course, the royal "we" are the perfect good; "they" are the eternal evil).

One wonders, when is a 'terrorist,' not a terrorist?

The late Pakistani scholar, Eqbal Ahmad, points to how history and circumstance can change characterizations:

Until the 1930s and 1940s, the Jewish underground in Palestine was described as "terrorist." Then something happened: around 1942, as news of the Holocaust was spreading, a certain liberal sympathy with the Jewish people began to emerge in the Western world. By 1944, the terrorists of Palestine, who were Zionists, suddenly began being described as "freedom fighters." If you look in history books you can find at least two Israeli prime ministers, including Menachem Begin, appearing in "Wanted" posters saying, TERRORISTS, REWARD [this much]. The highest reward I have seen offered
was 100,000 British pounds for the head of Menachem Begin, the terrorist (Yitzhak Shamir is the other).
[Eqbal Ahmad, Terrorism: Theirs & Ours, Seven Stories, 2001), p. 11]

The terrorism of yesterday has become the nationalism of today.

The interests and objectives of the US, and its Western partners, have less to do with terrorism, than with making the world quiescent and calm in the face of a neo-colonialist, corporate capitalism.

What is at stake is not democracy, for if this was so why does the West support regimes, like the Saudis or the Emirates, that don't even have a pretense of a democratic form of government? What is at stake is western control over resources, like oil, or natural gas.

What is at stake is hegemony, or the continued dominance over the emerging world by the industrial, corporate West, under the flag of globalism.

What is globalized is the use of force to suppress local, national and regional movements seeking liberation or autonomy. What is globalized is the media machinery of the wealthy elites to justify an inequitable status quo. What is globalized is terror, on a world scale, to protect the system.

Text © copyright 2002 by Mumia Abu-Jamal.

It seems nowadays that if you're Muslim or your skin is not white, then you're a terrorist. So that makes me a terrorist? Bush & co. went to war without concrete justification for it but not even the United Nations could stop them - and they just got away with it? Even after so many deaths, bombings of villages and homes of children, women and old people, and without any proof of any weapons of mass destruction, why is it that Bush & co. still in power? If other countries had gone against the words of the UN, they would have been slapped with a heavy punishment, or am I wrong? Then how come America and Britain aren't? Is it because America is the 'superpower' of the world and hence controls every single person on this earth? Is America allowed to bomb other smaller countries all these years without being terrorists? After 9-11, muslims have suffered the brunt of all the hatred and accusations - muslims are terrorists, muslims did this, and muslims must all be exterminated. The dictionary defines terrorism as 'violence or the threat of violence, especially bombing, kidnapping, and assassination, carried out for political purposes'. Hmm isn't that what Bush was up to all this time? ... and Blair is just a little puppet or more like a pet dog that will do anything his owner tells him to do because without its master, it might not be fed anymore special high-class dog food. Once I was on this tourbus in London and went pass this landmark statue, and the tourguide said "They're thinking of making a statue of Blair next year.....(and I'm groaning in distaste, then he adds ->)...and they're gonna put it under the bush." That totally made me piss my pants laughing. How so right! I'd not only put it under the bush but I'd stick it up the bush to its rightful place.

I don't hate all Americans, heck, I don't hate all white people, I'm going out with one! But why oh why is Bush still in power? This is the man who had cut down on America's education and environmental budget just so he could increase that of the military's. Not only is he sending his people to die in a country that doesn't want them there, he also wants to make them stupid? I guess not signing the Kyoto Protocol to reduce the greenhouse gases America produces is just one sly way of slowly killing off not only his own country but others too. America produces the most greenhouse gas than any other country, and of course it's because it's the biggest country, but that should also mean that America should be more responsible and become more of a good example to other smaller countries. It's just silly!

But enough of all this (for now) for I have to go now. Just for some minor amusement, yesterday a big white cock hit me in the face. I was trying to grab it and it flew right into my head, can you believe it? Sometimes chickens are sooooo annoying!!

Wednesday, January 05, 2005

My sister is an amazing artist. I've never ever once walked into her bedroom without some new, funky material to look at (although I despise some of the boyband posters). I've always admired her talent for what she can come up with when she puts the pencil to the paper. Recently I decided to see what's new on her blog and photo archive at deviantART. I never really visited deviantart before, but I was really impressed with her digital cam + photoshop pieces of work. A definite must-see for any web/graphics design enthusiast I think...or anyone with an uncanny sense of humour.

But I know Morbid Martha is going to loooove this..haha.
  Stick em' up! I've got a......twig!
Hmm...seems these days it doesn't really take much to rob people. Hey, I've got a leaf litter outside..maybe I can find something useful there.

Ok, well we've all heard of recent UFO sightings and people saying they were trying to "warn" us (well done, mr Alien) about the imminent tsunami, or that they were even conducting the tsunami altogether as part of their evil experiment on human kind. Well, here's one from an islamic point of view:

A Muslim Saudi professor says the earthquake and tsunami in south Asia were punishment from Allah for homosexuality and fornication committed by residents and visitors of affected countries at Christmastime.

"We know that at these resorts, which unfortunately exist in Islamic and other countries in south Asia, and especially at Christmas, fornication and sexual perversion of all kinds are rampant," he said. "The fact that it happened at this particular time is a sign from Allah. It happened at Christmas, when fornicators and corrupt people from all over the world come to commit fornication and sexual perversion. That's when this tragedy took place, striking them all and destroyed everything. It turned the land into wasteland, where only the cries of the ravens are heard. I say this is a great sign and punishment on which Muslims should reflect." Read whole article here.

Umm...yea. I'm gonna stick with the 'subduction of tectonic plates' geography mumbo-jumbo theory.
  Cut it off. Cut if ALL off.
I was reading the local newspaper earlier today and came across this article:

"Castrated hubby survives ordeal"

Hmm sounds interesting.

Apparently a teacher in Malaysia had his genitals severed by his wife in a fit of jealousy and anger over suspicions of him having an affair with another woman. The man was initially taken to the hospital following the incident but the doctors were unable to perform surgery since the severed part was not left behind. The woman is now staying with relatives somewhere else in fear of retaliation from the husband's relatives.

LOL this isn't the first case of genital-removal of sneaky two-timing husbands that I've heard of, and it most probably will not be the last. I have to admit, I applaud the woman's work of art. But only if the guy really was having an affair, if not, then I pity the guy who will probably have to pee like a girl, or is it in a bag? Bloody hell, I must sound like an emotionless pig! Wait..I am an emotionless pig! Ah well!!

Anyways, cases like this bring to mind the punishment rapists get. I don't know about other countries, but if I remember correctly, in the UK it's only several years in prison, isn't it? And aren't the prisons there like 5-star hotels? And there's that thing about "part-time prison" where the guy can go to work during the day and at night he goes to jail. Fucking hell, that's like going to a hotel then? What's his punishment then? To just go to sleep? I mean, what's the point of having prisons if the prisoners aren't going to suffer? I say bring back the torture chamber. If no one wants to work there, I will kindly volunteer my precious time for this just cause.

Back to my main point - rapists. Even here I don't think there's much more than some years in jail. In Malaysia, they have several cases of fathers raping their young daughters, and by young, I mean less than 10 years old. And in some cases, some crazy fuckhead even tried to rape a baby. A BABY??! What the hell do they see in babies??! Why don't they fuck a bloody keyhole then eh? And all they get is what...6-7 years in jail, maybe less? Only recently on the news was a case about this 9 year old girl that had been missing (in Malaysia) and they found out that she had been raped and murdered by this guy, but I don't remember what he got for it. I was telling my mother that they should just hand the guy over to the girl's family and let them deal with it. That would be the best punishment I bet. I'd probably stick a fucking telephone pole up his ass or something, maybe make a kebab out of his balls then feed em to the cats. And that's just the start.

But honestly folks, don't you think that just throwing rapists in prison is useless? Cos from what I've seen over the years, most of these rapists are going to rape again, and again, and again! And god knows about the cases that never get reported! Martha says why don't they just cut off their dicks eh? It would totally solve the problem once and for all, and will make sure other rapist-wannabes will think twice before they even glance at a girl the wrong way. Once, I had voiced this personal opinion of mine to someone, and that someone said that I am being too excessive and these people, either the guys in prison, or rapists, still have their human rights. Fine. Maybe the prisoners do but rapists? RAPISTS? Rapists and human rights don't seem to go hand-in-hand and you wanna know why I think so? Because were they thinking of any human rights when they were busy raping girls and kids? I highly doubt it! And raping is I think the worst thing you could do to a person, besides murdering. ... Everybody knows that, so why don't they? So I say fuck them (not in a literal way) and cut their dicks off! And to make it more interesting, let the families of the victims do the honours. Or else, just let me do it. I've got just the cleaver to do the job.

Eric (sees Lorrie with a baby): "Oh golly Lorrie, a baby... And just in time for your black mass!"
Red: "Hey, what did I tell you about calling your sister the devil.."
Eric: "'s offensive to the devil?"

Ok, I admit I've never been really good with come-backs. Once I was at a party in some university hall and I was on my way out down the stairs when I passed a group of people hanging out on the stairs. And some english guy stops me and says "hey, you can't leave yet...yeah, you gotta go weigh your balls on the weighing scale first." I rolled my eyes and walked out. 30 seconds later I was thinking I shoulda said my balls would probably break his weighing scale.

But it was winter...I didnt wanna take anything out.

My resident pet, Coco. Does he look thick? Maybe it's because he is. Fetch dammit! Fetch!
Tuesday, January 04, 2005
  Blondes and Monkeys
I guess the highlight of the day today is that I got bitten by a monkey and nearly blacked out. Ugh. Here I am awkwardly typing on my laptop with a plaster on one of my fingers. That was one hell of a bite!! In case you're all wondering, we've got a not-so-baby-anymore monkey as a pet (he's cute but he keeps biting on his own private parts. It's sorta amusing in a disturbed way). I was playing around with him as usual, and he always bites when he's playing, but this time he bit too hard and I was like, shit that hurt!! So there I am trying to flap my hand in a feeble attempt to shake the pain away but alas, failed. A proper inspection of my finger revealed a really deep cut. Bloody monkey. Spent a while squeezing as much blood out of the huge gaping wound (I guess I need to drink some more blood later. Dammit. Running low on stock!), but then while I was washing it off, I felt sorta dizzy and hot so I was gonna go up to my room when everything started getting blur. Aiming for the nearest sofa, my vision started being attacked by black shadows, but since it was a one-seater, I took a life-threatening risk and stumbled my way towards the three-seater sofa and dumped my fat ass on there. Then everything went black black black. And all the while I was thinking, "ooooh am I gonna faint or what?" Then I felt sorta silly cos Martha doesn't faint at the sight of blood nor because of pain, but man does Martha feel suddenly hungry!

So after being pampered by the boyfriend and stuffing my face with cheesy puffs, I decided to share this stupid story with you all and also to express my utter annoyance at blonde wannabes. That's right, blonde wannabes. But not just any blonde wannabes. I mean our asian people being blondes. No it doesn't have the slightest connection to being bitten by monkeys - oh wait, yes it does. I'm annoyed, and that's all that matters. Anyways, back to the blonde wannabes. I HATE asian blonde wannabes. It never used to be as bad a problem as it is now though. I remember when I was younger, our girls would be walking around with hair the colour of rusty door hinges. You look at hair like that and the first thing you think is that the hair's gonna fall off if you bump into it. At least that's what I think. Rusty door hinge = crumbling shit = ugly hair.

Today though, today I walk around and keep bumping into blonde heads, and they're not white, they're Bruneians! There was that one night when I was at the mall with my boyfriend, and there was a cafe with tables outside and there was a table of blonde white people, and the table next to them had some Bruneians and this blonde person sitting with her back to me. Her other friends kept staring at me and my boyfriend (I hate people who stare, I hope their eyes pop out or something...maybe they accidentally walk into metal hooks or trip and fall face flat onto some spikey road block thingies). So I say to my boyfriend, "There, one of your people." And the girl turns around, and she's not bloody white, she was one of my people! I mean, that was one ugly sight!! It didn't exactly help that she was ugly. And I'm not being bitchy, I'm just honest. And she's just one example of the many sad kids in Brunei and I'm sure the other countries around here that try so hard to look like somebody else, maybe some western celebrity they idolise or something. Either that or they just wanna look stupid, cos trust me, it does NOT suit them. But they obviously think it does, cos they walk around with their noses in the air, talking in english or malay-with-english/american-posh-accents, because of course that makes them more cooler than other locals (Yup. That's how they see it. Sad, right?), flicking their blonde hair ..... don't get me wrong, I've even seen boys do it. Bleach their hair I mean, not flicking it. Unless they have long hair. ... and even that's not attractive.

Maybe other people will say, there's nothing wrong with being blonde, even if you're not white, it's just dying your hair. Maybe they're right, but the main picture I'm trying to point out is that these kids don't see it as just a simple dye job. Apparently, out there in the outside world, being blonde is one of the ways of achieving complete westernisation of the self, and that in turn, will lead to absolute popularity cos people will think you're so cool and sophisticated and open-minded and whatever shit they can think of. I mean, what world are these people from to think like that??!

Okay, enough rambling for now. My finger hurts. Bloody monkey.

Monday, January 03, 2005
  The Mullet Lives On....
If anyone else out there is as bored as I am, then here's a great website I think you should see. It's one of my favourites, so you had better like it too.

(and make sure you click on the link where it says if you're new to the site!!)

Enjoy. And remember, mullets are extremely sexy and will help you to attract members of the other sex (or the same. or both.), and due to this very reason, I strongly recommend that mullets be the next hairstyle you get.

UPDATE: I've included a picture on behalf of Martha from the website. MulletJunky will forever be an inspiration to our blog... :P -Clyde.

Common names for the mullet include (but are not limited to) : The Ape Drape. The Tennessee Waterfall. The 10/90 (the proportion of hair in front to hair in back). The Mud Flap. 7 (shape of the #) The Long Island Ice Teased. Business on Top-Party Out Back. Achy-Breaky-Big Mistakey. Yep-Nope.

  Underwear goes inside the pants.
I've always found it amusing how some of the people I've known in the past who smoke marajuna (undoubtedly from uni), or weed if you like, appear to be some of the greater thinkers I've ever encountered. Well, either that or I've been hanging out with an incredibly dumbass crowd of friends for the past 3 years. A group of potheads who lived in my hall were once discussing astrophysics together. Yes. Astrophysics. They would get into heated arguments over discussions such as...why the universe is round. They weren't really what you would call hardworking students. Nor were they physicists. Yet they push the limits of philosphical thinking and question Stephen Hawking's theory of relativity. Well, either they are wasted geniuses who have ruined their lives with grass or are regular people appearing to be smarter because of grass. But wait, isn't this old news? Weren't the grass-smoking hippies the ones in the 60s who so greatly vented their political views and anti-war opinions during the vietnam war than any other group?

"This homeless guy asked me for money the other day.I was about to give it to him and then I thought he was going to use it on drugs or alcohol.And then I thought, that's what I'm going to use it on.Why am I judging this poor bastard."

Recently I heard a song by an artiste called Lazyboy, whose lyrics seem to imply he is a pot smoker himself. Still, I couldn't help but think that his lyrics deal with so many real issues in the world today.

"Americans, let's face it: We've been a spoiled country for a long time. Do you know what the number one health risk in America is? Obesity. They say we're in the middle of an obesity epidemic.An epidemic like it is polio. Like we'll be telling our grand kids about it one day.The Great Obesity Epidemic of 2004."How'd you get through it grandpa?""Oh, it was horrible Johnny, there was cheesecake and pork chops everywhere."

I personally cannot say that majority of my non-drug-induced friends would ever really think about such issues as these. And even if they did, not to that extent nor would they really try to do much about it. Another disappointment that I have with my home country is how no one seems to have a strong political opinion...Not that they make bad opinions, but they make NO opinions. In particular the youth of today. When Mr Bush visited Singapore, not a single soul protested. I can only conclude that the semi-oppressive government has done a good job of silencing those with a voice or no one really cares that this man made a decision that would cost hundreds or thousands of lives. Why? Is it because we are on the opposite side of the world, away from all the falling bombs, flying bullets, and civilian executions?

"Sometimes you have to suffer a little bit in your youth to motivate yourself to succeed in later life."

Maybe we are in a way, spoilt like America. We've been blessed for a long time with prosperity and a clean, low-crime environment. We have faced no real hardships from famine or natural disasters, despite the recent tsunami, or the SARS scare in 2003/4. We live in an environment where we feel so protected and invulnerable, where our only real hardship was the decline of the economy since 9/11. Has anyone ever sat down to appreciate the lives they have today? Have they ever thought perhaps about what life would be like if the Allies had lost WW2? How many of us have spent just one minute in a year to remember our own countrymen who fell against the enemy to provide us the freedom we live in today. So many years of promising lives ahead of them, never lived out. Just so we can vote for someone on Singapore Idol at 50 cents per text instead of taking a free vote for a political leader.

" We're in one of the richest countries in the world,but the minimum wage is lower than it was thirty five years ago."

Anyway, what was I talking about again... Yes, marajuana. I think by now, some may think I am drug induced myself..and that I hang out with druggies..haha. Matter of fact is, I am a non smoker. And I hang out with no one. I am anti-social, remember?

"He looks right at the homeless guy and says why don't you go get a job you bum.People always say that to homeless guys like it is so easy.This homeless guy was wearing his underwear outside his pants.Outside his pants. I'm guessing his resume isn't all up to date.I'm predicting some problems during the interview process.I'm pretty sure even McDonalds has a "underwear goes inside the pants" policy.Not that they enforce it really strictly, but technically I'm sure it is on the books." I would definitely reccommend checking this song out.
Sunday, January 02, 2005

As we enter 2005, may we remember the thousands that won't be joining us...

Please donate if you can to the South Asia earthquake and Tsunami disaster relief efforts. You can make a minimum donation of US$5.00 to the American Red Cross here. Don't just stare at the news on tv. Do something and donate.
"Those weapons of mass destruction have got to be somewhere." - George W. Bush (March 24, 2004)

Recent Bastard Posts
Bastard-coated Bastards
Fetus Spears
Darth Vader
Sinner's Ark
Seditious Bastards
Brand New Malaysia
e pur si muove
I Really Don't Know
Mr Wang Bakes Good Karma
The Police State
Matrix Singapore
The Reader's Eye
Singapore Rebel (the blog)
Singapore Rebel (the film)
Xeno Boy
Yawning Bread
Retardation of the West
The Knight Shift
Melanie "Mad Cow" Phillips
Pentagonlies (cool conspiracy theory video!)
Sorry Everybody
System of a Down
Wake Up & Smell the Fascism
Pink Dome
Take the Political Test
Vox Day
Game of the Month

"I'm jacking your wheelbarrel bitch!"
Archived Bastardisation

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