I'll save you...! Right after I take out your garbage.
I wonder how much they pay people who write these things... Not like the original message was any better...
Staffordshire has never really been the wiser when it comes to spending money on making their nuclear wasteland look a bit prettier. Well, it isn't really a nuclear wasteland. But it sure felt like I was living in a nuclear winter where sun would no longer penetrate through the thick cloud layer and thus freeze every living creature on the barren wasteland below. But that's beside the point. They came up with an environmental plan to recycle more waste paper, tins, glass bottles etc. The plan involved distributing a big green plastic container (for glass) and coloured bin-bags for various recycleable items. By the end of the trial week, everyone had turned their green container into part of their indoor furniture or for laundry. Well, kudos to the town council, but their eco-friendly friendly plan just generated a ton more plastic, wasted tax-payers' money, and aren't recycling a whole lot more. I speak for Stoke by the way, where you'd never expect to see an eco-friendly student.
Word of mouth is also that Staffordshire had turned down a very large,spectacular sports/football (i cant remember which one) on the condition that they shared it with a neighbouring county. Well, they settled for a small measly one which has up to today failed to attract any significant attention... and always looks like it's rotting out in the barren wasteland. The larger stadium would not only have generated larger tourism in the area, but also more jobs for its residents. So, what's new in Staffordshire's series of plans to make it a little more inhabitable?
"Binmen could give life-saving treatment to heart attack patients in a rural area of England. Crews would carry defibrillators, machines which give electric shocks, under the plan being considered by Staffordshire Moorlands Council. The scheme, backed by the ambulance service, has been proposed as using a defibrillator within four minutes of a heart attack increases survival by 80%. Council leader Ron Locker said it was a great idea and could save lives."
Are we expecting blue sirens on garbage trucks anytime soon? Or perhaps an emergency number for garbage collectors...
"Those weapons of mass destruction have got to be somewhere." - George W. Bush (March 24, 2004)