Friday, December 31, 2004
  America says sorry...

Ok..last post for the night. I swear. I know this is a bit of old news. I heard something about this a month ago about some website where the other half of america who voted for Kerry can go and post their own personal pictorial apology to the world. They're selling a book of all the pictures they've collected, but you can check out the archives.
  Blogs to check out...
3 and a half hours into new year's eve and I'm still browsing the net like the sad bastard that I am. Anyway, in those few hours since my last post, I've been browsing through some really interesting blogs. Just thought I'd mention a few interesting blogs/sites I discovered tonight.

-Chapel Perilous - Looks pretty interesting, but I'm still not sure what it's about......Something about octopi...
Check out the link Chapel Furnace for some interesting political food for thought. And even if you don't care that Bush is going to get all of us killed, at least there are still some funny pictures on this site.

-Yummy Wakame - It really doesn't take much to impress me as a person, as antisocial as I am. All you have to be is original and not some drone who "goes with the crowd". Her blogger profile impressed me so much, I'd reccommend her blog even if it said nothing....umm..well maybe not. (Mr Jones: Her favourite movies include Waking Life and Lost Highway..and I thought YOU were the only person who truly appreciated David Lynch..heheh)

-SaniTest- How insane are you? Should I be worried that I got a score of 6.66 out of 10?
Your SaniTest(TM) score suggests that you are quite unhinged. Although some scientists believe this condition is genetic, others theorize that it is induced through exposure to unnatural stress. But these 'scientists,' apparently, do not hear the voices. Others who scored at this level include occultist/drug fiend Aliester Crowley and US senator Jesse Helms. Post your scores in the comments if you take it :)
Thursday, December 30, 2004
  A happy new year...for some of us.
Today just hasn't been a good day for me. It's just one of those days where everything's not going your way. I queued ages for an internet download only to be disconnected halfway. I made dinner that tasted like shit.. (usually it's just about bearable), then Windows XP made me feel like an idiot by telling me its not safe to download some codecs so I couldn't watch a streaming video of my favourite guitar hero. Not like it even gave me a fucking choice to download them or not.. Then my bluetooth dongle wouldn't work when I connected it to my PC. Well it did, but I just couldn't send stuff from my phone. If you ask me, my computer has become some kind of paranoid mother telling me what I can and can't do now. For fuck's sake, you'd think the most updated version of WinXP would give you less problems when all I really wanted to do 10 minutes ago was throw this fucking machine out my goddam window and hope it kills as many birds on its way down.

But I digress. Afterall, I am too poor to destroy my own property. Instead, I close my eyes and count backwards from 10. Just like I did after my internet download got disconnected. And just like I did after dinner. Rage is blind for sure. Because when your state of mind flicks to that mentality, you really don't give a shit that you paid 50 bucks for that bluetooth dongle you are crushing repeatedly under the leg of your chair as you jump up and down on it. And the sadistic part is you just might actually enjoy it.

So I guess I've had a bad day. But still I have to think that other people do have it worse. Like my friend Danni who's girlfriend left him and then he got in a car accident recently. It sucks when all this has to happen at the year end...not to forget the tsunami that's taken so many lives...sigh. Well, happy new year. At least we have 2005 to look forward to.

Oh wait, Bush is in power for the next 4 years. Dammit.
Wednesday, December 29, 2004
  Bastard-coated Bastards with Bastard Filling
A conversation between a socialist and an anti-socialist on Scrubs:

Molly: "Perry, no one's pure evil.. I mean yea, some people have a hard outer shell, but inside everyone has a creamy center."
Cox: "There are plenty of people here, on this particular planet, who are hard on the outside AND hard on the inside."
Molly: "So they have more of a nougat-y center??"
Cox: "Lady, people aren't chocolates.. Do you know what they are mostly? Bastards. Bastard-coated bastards with bastard filling. But I don't find them half as annoying as I find naive, bubble-headed optimists who walk around vomitting sunshine."

I second that.
Tuesday, December 28, 2004
  Gothic names anyone?
I've just found out that I have a gothic name, and its Violent Beauty (no I didn't make that up). I must say, that's quite flattering, but I still don't know how to rank it amongst the other nicknames I've been given, of which includes Queen PMS, Merciless Medusa, Cold-blooded Bitch, Emotionless Cow and Miss Morbid. As far as I'm concerned, they're all lies. I'm the nicest, sweetest person anyone could ever wish to meet (as well as gorgeous, have I mentioned?). And if I ever get to see those people who gave me these nicknames, their lives will be at my mercy. As for Clyde, his name is Deadly Whispers. Although I still think the winner of the day is still my boyfriend - apparently his gothic name is Demented Whore. I must be so lucky.
  The awaited arrival of Martha. All bow. Now. is I, Martha, the Queen. Since Clyde has already introduced me, I won't say much for now (except that I'm really gorgeous. Trust me!!). Plus my internet card is running out.

As for my part in this whole project of martha and clyde's, I'll be providing vital information about the wannabes and try-hards from my beloved country - Brunei - where the kids roam free, unfortunately, while also giving a physical real-life demonstration on how sad kids can be when they try too hard to be something considered "cool" and "popular". I'll save the surprise for later. Other than that, I will also be sharing my personal rantings on my hatred for almost everything (and by everything, i really mean things that are related to the human race. Mainly of the white type. So I'm weird? The sue me and stick a fork through my eye, I don't care...forks don't hurt me.)

Okay before I go completely lame, I'll stop now.


Pictures courtesy of my cousin Ling in Penang and other penangites. Everyone there's ok, thankfully. Apparently they felt the tremors at 9am and had the 10ft tsunami hit them at 2pm. This I belief. But when I spoke to my mom on the phone yesterday, she claimed the waves were 1,000ft high.......hmmm. Either someone doesn't know their metric conversion or this is just another case of malaysians flooring the throttle on exaggeration. Either way, I hope we all pay a minute's silence for the lives taken all over south asia from this disaster.
Monday, December 27, 2004
  White Culture Lesson #1: Bottoms Up!
Reflecting on the last 3 mad days I spent in Wales, I couldn't help but remind myself how the UK revolves around booze and that without it, a sober UK would probably just remember why they hated each other in the first place and go back to war i.e. William Wallace II. Spending my first christmas here in the UK was such a let down. The streets of Manchester were as brightly decorated as Rudolf's ass (no lights lah). Not to mention a little isolated too. London didn't feel that christmas-ey either. Why? Maybe because no one wants to come waste their money in this overpriced country and even if you did have money, why spend it in a climate that can't decide whether it wants to snow or shit bricks of ice on you....if it decides to shit anything at all. So naturally, Britons fly off to places like New York (like Singaporeans to Johor Baru) to spend their superior currency.

Anyway, so it seems Brits only know how to communicate happiness, celebration and joy through alcohol. ironically, the same goes for sadness and depression. I had to smirk when I sat down with my fellow yellow friend, Min, playing a £3 "monopoly" imitation game at our friend's house when the mother came in and offered us a drink. Being the lightweight drinkers that we are as well as already having had a few, Min had to say "no thank you" to which she replied,"Come on and be sociable...". Not in an offended way..But understandably, it was the only gesture this mother knew to express hospitality. The same way she expressed christmas. Like the same way she expressed christmas eve. Like the same way she expressed boxing day. Damn, come to think of it, Christmas was one big drinking binge.. The point is, alcohol is such a big part of western culture, that I often wonder what culture would be left if there was no booze left in the world.

Thursday, December 23, 2004

I was in London last weekend...the extremely overpriced place. £2 for a friggin tube ticket for a single fare to zone 1 destinations.

I walked.

Welcome to Bastardisation of the East, another proud product of boredom by Martha & Clyde. Here, I will try my best to display my raves and rants in an as-honest-as-possible way. The truth is, there has never been a proper outlet for me to express all my hate for the world...since it's illegal to kill annoying people and all. Friendster has become too much of a pansy-assed way of expressing one's self via 6 pictures and a "cool-funky" user profile wRittEn LiKe THiS. Honest to god, those people should be exterminated.

Anyway, I really hope this weblog takes off somehow... Martha & Clyde have much to share with the world....mostly pictures of people looking stupid. But hopefully, we can voice our opinions here and anyone fortunate to stumble here is welcome to share theirs. It is 100% freedom of speech unlike my half-commie half-republican self-proclaimed so-called democratic home country that is Singapore aka the Nanny State. You will not be critised here, nor slapped with a fine, sent to jail and have your reputation and career ruined as in Singapore.

Clyde, an emotionally crippled anti-socialist, will hate most people by default until he finds a reason to like you. Perhaps the reason is because he has an extremely low tolerance for annoying people, or that you are just extremely annoying. Who's fault it is, I don't know. Martha, an emotionally crippled narcissit, has excessive love and admiration for herself....and you will agree with her unless you have a death wish. So Clyde used to hang out at Martha's student home but never really got to know each other because clyde, the emotionally crippled anti-socialist was too stubborn to make friends with this intimidating woman watching tv with him and her housemates. While martha, the emotionally crippled narcissit was also too stubborn to make friends with this dweller in her house hogging all the sofa cushions... But fate it seems, threw a ton of bricks to build a bridge between that gap and we discovered our much shared hate for a lot of things. And thus, Martha & Clyde was born...and so was this weblog.

"Those weapons of mass destruction have got to be somewhere." - George W. Bush (March 24, 2004)

Recent Bastard Posts
Bastard-coated Bastards
Fetus Spears
Darth Vader
Sinner's Ark
Seditious Bastards
Brand New Malaysia
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I Really Don't Know
Mr Wang Bakes Good Karma
The Police State
Matrix Singapore
The Reader's Eye
Singapore Rebel (the blog)
Singapore Rebel (the film)
Xeno Boy
Yawning Bread
Retardation of the West
The Knight Shift
Melanie "Mad Cow" Phillips
Pentagonlies (cool conspiracy theory video!)
Sorry Everybody
System of a Down
Wake Up & Smell the Fascism
Pink Dome
Take the Political Test
Vox Day
Game of the Month

"I'm jacking your wheelbarrel bitch!"
Archived Bastardisation

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