Sunday, January 16, 2005
Reasons why threesomes aren't as fun as you imagined...
^^Notice sad, lonely man standing in the corner^^
The Threesome Position I Would Use
"There I would stand, next to the bed looking downward. I am ashamed. Finally I had the chance to enjoy the beauty of two steaming lesbian women.
Alas, my heart sank. My penis would not obey my command. It has prematurely spilled my man juices. I once planned to distribute those juices equally to my new bisexual friends.
I shall never realize my dreams. God is dead."
Ahahahah....what's worse than being rejected by two hot chicks in a threesome. I stumbled onto this website which has an encyclopedia of sexual positions with lots of great commentary. Upon hearing the term "spooning" used by my favourite on-screen doctor, Perry Cox, I had to find out what it meant. This is what www.sexualpostionsfree.com says:
"People have written to me asking what "spooning" is. Here is my explanation. Picture the spoons lying in the kitchen drawer. They are line up and lying close to each other. Spooning is lying close with your lover in the same way. You both face the same direction and contact each other in many areas. It is romantic.There. Now that you have an answer you can go back to the britney spears fan club site or get help on AOL for your algebra test."
So there you have it. Next time someone asks you whether you want to be the big spoon or the little spoon, you know what to say.
Sword Fighting Over a Woman - A Dichotomy
A Dichotomy is a division into two usually contradictory parts. From the mans perspective this position represents the definition of a dichotomy.
-One man is having oral sex performed on him by a woman (this is usually good).
-The other man is standing in a room naked staring at another mans penis (not good).
I'm no webster, but I bet you will never, ever forget the definition of dichotomy now.
If He Ejaculates Near Me I'll Kick His Ass
Not that I want to keep bringing up the harsh realities of three way sex, but I just don't want anything to do with another man's ejaculate. It may look cool in the porno movies but you don't have to clean it off after you watch a Peter North film.
Conclusion: Threesome's are pretty much gay. Unless it's a two-hot-chicks-one-man configuration.
And here's my personal favourite...(animation included)
How Dolls Without Genitalia Have Sex
I bet you were wondering how dolls without knees or genitals have sex. (well, maybe it is just me that wonders about these things). Either way, these particular dolls don't have much mobility and they certainly don't have equipment.What results in a pretty sloppy effort by our guy dolls.
Reminds you of the Joke:A woman asks a store clerk "Maam, does Barbie come with Ken?" the clerk replies, "Nah, she fakes it with Ken, she comes with G.I. Joe".
^^Notice sad, lonely man standing in the corner^^
The Threesome Position I Would Use
"There I would stand, next to the bed looking downward. I am ashamed. Finally I had the chance to enjoy the beauty of two steaming lesbian women.
Alas, my heart sank. My penis would not obey my command. It has prematurely spilled my man juices. I once planned to distribute those juices equally to my new bisexual friends.
I shall never realize my dreams. God is dead."
Ahahahah....what's worse than being rejected by two hot chicks in a threesome. I stumbled onto this website which has an encyclopedia of sexual positions with lots of great commentary. Upon hearing the term "spooning" used by my favourite on-screen doctor, Perry Cox, I had to find out what it meant. This is what www.sexualpostionsfree.com says:
"People have written to me asking what "spooning" is. Here is my explanation. Picture the spoons lying in the kitchen drawer. They are line up and lying close to each other. Spooning is lying close with your lover in the same way. You both face the same direction and contact each other in many areas. It is romantic.There. Now that you have an answer you can go back to the britney spears fan club site or get help on AOL for your algebra test."
So there you have it. Next time someone asks you whether you want to be the big spoon or the little spoon, you know what to say.
Sword Fighting Over a Woman - A Dichotomy
A Dichotomy is a division into two usually contradictory parts. From the mans perspective this position represents the definition of a dichotomy.
-One man is having oral sex performed on him by a woman (this is usually good).
-The other man is standing in a room naked staring at another mans penis (not good).
I'm no webster, but I bet you will never, ever forget the definition of dichotomy now.
If He Ejaculates Near Me I'll Kick His Ass
Not that I want to keep bringing up the harsh realities of three way sex, but I just don't want anything to do with another man's ejaculate. It may look cool in the porno movies but you don't have to clean it off after you watch a Peter North film.
Conclusion: Threesome's are pretty much gay. Unless it's a two-hot-chicks-one-man configuration.
And here's my personal favourite...(animation included)
How Dolls Without Genitalia Have Sex
I bet you were wondering how dolls without knees or genitals have sex. (well, maybe it is just me that wonders about these things). Either way, these particular dolls don't have much mobility and they certainly don't have equipment.What results in a pretty sloppy effort by our guy dolls.
Reminds you of the Joke:A woman asks a store clerk "Maam, does Barbie come with Ken?" the clerk replies, "Nah, she fakes it with Ken, she comes with G.I. Joe".
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doubtful she'll get much out of GI Joe either. when i was younger i was always told to play carefully with him because he came with "small parts".
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