Friday, April 29, 2005
"Broken glass and spillage on aisle twenty nine.."
It must be strange and rare indeed for someone to comprehend the way I, and probably Martha and Used-Condom too, the way we perceive the people around us (gift or curse, who knows). This morning as my windows media player playlist played away, the lead singer of Counting Crows sang out loud "All monkeys do as they see...". And I thought, what a better metaphor to describe popular culture. But then I decided not to demean the monkeys and apes of the world out of consideration for any animal-huggers that may be reading this, including Martha.
Everytime I am on the street, I am bound to see some unusual quirk of the human race. For example, twice in the past few days, I walked past people talking on their mobile phones.....with the phone almost a foot away from their ears. It sounds crazy, but I've actually heard of people doing this. The belief is that they don't want to fry their brains from the radiation. At first, I thought they were too stupid to learn how to facilitate the volume control on the piece of fashion accessory they call a phone. But it turns out they're just too poor to buy a piece of Nokia with customised facia WITH a handsfree kit.
Other things have grown accustomed to me now. I am used to seeing people walking around with fully integrated bluetooth handsfree devices permanently plugged into their ears. People seemingly talking to themselves. And when the PA at ASDA says 'there is broken glass and spillage on aisle 29', I am at least 100% certain that one of those things is true. I truly wonder sometimes if the human race is a miracle of life, or a complete fuck up of nature. Everything we do as a species is unatural. Ever wonder why animals don't need to brush their teeth to prevent a horrible horrible death from too decay? Hmm...
Anyway, on a final note, it was my birthday...yesterday (Thanks for the e-card Martha. I had sooo much "fun" blowing bubbles out of a cannon at a fuckin annoying monkey. click click click). The official age is 22. My 16th, 17th, 18th, 21st birthdays are over (not that they were overly exciting in any way). And so the downhill begins. I know what you're thinking, "Holy shit, if that was the climax, wtf is at the bottom??.." And now I understand why mom is pissed off when we celebrate her birthday. If anything, perhaps I have 22 years of wisdom to reflect on....
Ok. Im done reflecting.
Everytime I am on the street, I am bound to see some unusual quirk of the human race. For example, twice in the past few days, I walked past people talking on their mobile phones.....with the phone almost a foot away from their ears. It sounds crazy, but I've actually heard of people doing this. The belief is that they don't want to fry their brains from the radiation. At first, I thought they were too stupid to learn how to facilitate the volume control on the piece of fashion accessory they call a phone. But it turns out they're just too poor to buy a piece of Nokia with customised facia WITH a handsfree kit.
Other things have grown accustomed to me now. I am used to seeing people walking around with fully integrated bluetooth handsfree devices permanently plugged into their ears. People seemingly talking to themselves. And when the PA at ASDA says 'there is broken glass and spillage on aisle 29', I am at least 100% certain that one of those things is true. I truly wonder sometimes if the human race is a miracle of life, or a complete fuck up of nature. Everything we do as a species is unatural. Ever wonder why animals don't need to brush their teeth to prevent a horrible horrible death from too decay? Hmm...
Anyway, on a final note, it was my birthday...yesterday (Thanks for the e-card Martha. I had sooo much "fun" blowing bubbles out of a cannon at a fuckin annoying monkey. click click click). The official age is 22. My 16th, 17th, 18th, 21st birthdays are over (not that they were overly exciting in any way). And so the downhill begins. I know what you're thinking, "Holy shit, if that was the climax, wtf is at the bottom??.." And now I understand why mom is pissed off when we celebrate her birthday. If anything, perhaps I have 22 years of wisdom to reflect on....
Ok. Im done reflecting.
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Aww, you've kept all the music you downloaded for me. You were sat listening to Perfect Blue Buildings. Not that the lead singer of Counting Crows can comment. He looks like a monkey.
...and happy birthday. 22. You look 12 [that's a compliment, I think]. I became 23 on April 9th. It does not feel natural.
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