The chronicles of Fetus Spears That's the bastard child crossbreed between white trash and whiter trash:

"I'M SITTING HERE IN THE BABY ROOM WITH ALL THESE OTHER CUTSIE MIDGET F***TARDS. I'M WEARING SOME SORT OF BEANIE. I TOLD MOMMY THAT I DON'T WANT TO BE A JEW OR KABBALAH OR ANYTHING. I JUST WANT TO BE A FETUS SSSSS!!!!! SPEARSSSSSSSDSSSSSSSSS!!!!!

BALASDSAFD...

DAMN I'M HUNGRY . WHAT'S THIS WAITING AROUND TO EAT CRA? IN MOMMY'S TUMMY I BASICALLY ATE WHAT I WANT. NOW I HAVE TO WAIT FOR SOME FATASS NURSE TO COME GIVE ME FOOD...

CAN'T WAIT TILL MOMMY BREASTS FEEDS ME. MANY OF YOU HAVE WRITTEN TO SAY HOW LUCKY I AM, THAT I GET TO SUCKLE O0N THE TEAT OF A POP PRINCESSS. YES, IT'S AWESOME, BUT THIS IS MY MOM WE'RE TALKING ABOUT SO SHUT THE F UP....

I ACCIDENTLY LEFT MY POWER BOOK IN MOMMY'S UTERUS. SHE'S PROBABLY GONNA POOP IT UP TONIGHT..

DOCTOR GAVE ME ONE OF THOSE COOL BLACKBERRY'S THAT EVERYONE
SEEMS TO BE CARRYING AROUND HERE. IT F'ING SUCKS. I WANT A GODDAMN TREO....BUTTONS ARE SMALLER FOR MY SMALL FINGERS....

DADDY'S LOOKING AT ME THROUGH THE WINDOW NOW...SHOULD HE BE WORKING OR SOMETHING...THAT DUDE NEEDS TO GET A LIFE...

STAY TUNED...THIS LIVING THING IS HILARIOUS...."

The coming of the King of white trash has been born, yes. A lot's happened since then. And although the Fetus Spears has ceased blogging soon after birth, it's still quite a funny read. It still saddens me to see newborns brought into this world who are destined to a doom of infamy. Most recently, I've also noticed the UK's own televised chronicles of the sex aftermath by ex-Page 3 girl, Jordan and significant other Peter Andre. Nevermind the bastard children, I'm still trying hard to think of a single successful celebrity couple who have actually been able to pass the test of time.  ¶ posted by Jon at 8:02 PM