Martha drops an email from work. Work; the one thing that martha and now the leech evidently have too much of and that I lack.

me: Haven't heard from you in ages. Thought maybe you killed yourself or slashed your wrists from all that depression of working in a square cubicle listening to the silent humming of computers all day.

martha: i slashed my wrists ages ago but my blood was so cold that it was practically frozen inside that there was no blood flow exiting the wound so im still here.

Ocassionally I get some email forwards from her, and usually they're somewhat interesting.... like this Toyota Inari 1.1. which she thought would be the perfect automobile for the anti-socialite such as ourselves.

Imagine the amount of awkward silences this car would save you if it went mainstream... Oh well, an anti-socialite can keep on dreaming.

"by the way today lunch time (before i had foood) our fire officer called me up and said there was a baby whale stranded on the beach so i butted in to the rescue but seeing as i was in work clothes and not a swimmer all i could do was stand there under hot sun looking baked yet still deliciously sexy." - martha inserts narcissism where necessary.