Monday, September 12, 2005
  "Excuse me - does it bother you that you have no talent?"
The question is posed to a vaguely familiar "celebrity" not worth remembering at an awards show equally not worth remembering. Neither was his answer.

Death of Celebrity, hosted by Piers Morgan, is a 1-hr documentary on the decline of celebrity status and was aired on Channe4 at 9pm last night. It brilliantly spotlighted some of the most pointless celebrities including David Beckham (#4), along with his wife Posh Becks (#1), Abi Titmus (who has thought herself worthy of an autobiography), and ALL Big Brother participants. Surely there are plenty more non-English contenders for the #1 position, but bear in mind it's an English programme.

Ex-Page 3 model Jordan also easily makes her way into the list of pointless celebs. Recently married to british pop singer Andre somebody (forgive my bad memory for bad singers), the local news picked up their story. Down the street apparently was a Royal wedding taking place where famous faces such as Prince Charles and sons were attending. Can you guess who's was more popular? Despite the Royal wedding, the whore and the annoyingly bad (or is it badly annoying?) singer still eventually gained the most public attention with one parent describing it as "every girl's dream". Yes, of course every English girl wants to grow up, become a slut and marry somebody famous/rich. At least a small handful of celebs were sensible enough to decline their invitation, with one even saying,"I'd rather stay at home and defrost my freezer."

The point of it all, as I so gleefully agree with, is the dilution of celebrity-hood with the countless numbers of pointless people that plague the face of every tabloid and many a tv programme. England's Worst Celebrity Drivers spotlighted a list of "celebs" that must have been sub-Z list because the only person I recognised was Erik Estrada, and he's not even British! One day we will reflect on celebrities that defined their century. We will see Mozart, Beethoven, DaVinci, and then we will see the 21st century and go "uhhmm..."

At the end of the day, we also send out the wrong message to our current and future youth generations. That to be famous, you don't need any talent. Just simply being married to someone famous or having an ex-partner who was a soap actor (as was the pathetic excuse of one filmed "celeb"). And of course since this is "every girl's dream", that probably explains why our streets are filled with Britney Spears clones (fat or thin) and other [insert pop idol here]. Sad to say I also see a lot of 50cents and R. Kellys too. Imitations of already cheap imitations.

"Abi Titmus' CV reads - 'nurse', 'got tits out', 'dodgy video'." - Interviewee on Death of Celebrity.

Other recommended time-wasters: Bremner, Bird & Fortune (8pm Sundays Ch4)
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